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Today is going to be a wonderful day! 🙂 I am loved, blessed and favored by God. This is the day that God has given to me. I will make the most of every hour. I will think positive and include God in all of my decisions. Thank you God for all that you’ve already done today. Amen:)

Do I Trust You?

In this season in my life I feel that God is teaching me how to trust him more. In order for me to get through this present situation, I am going to have to trust God with all my heart.
The other day I started talking to God about trust and I asked him, “How do I trust you?” I always thought I knew how to but I noticed that I was operating in anxiety, and frustration, and worry which lead to depression. With all those negative emotions festering on the inside of me, it was impossible for me to trust God with all my heart. I realized that I want trusting God.
When I asked the question “How do you trust?”, I got an answer.
I felt God put the answer in my heart; you have to push aside what you think is right and listen and follow me. That was my “ah ha” moment. My thoughts were getting in the way. I then started to think about my son Micah. I was getting him ready for school one day and I told him to do something that was kind of different from our everyday, usual routine. I wanted to switch things up a little for them and myself. I was trying to get them ready for school easier and quickly so that they could watch one of their favorite cartoons before their school bus arrived. They didn’t know what I had in mind.
When I gave Micah directions he stared at me and started following my directions he stopped and did what came natural; he started doing the old routine. I asked him to follow my directions 3 times and he hesitated everytime. He did not follow my directions. It wasn’t because I talked to fast or that my directions weren’t clear it was because his thoughts were getting in the way of him being able to follow through. My oldest son watched and his face wrinkled as he asked me why  Micah didn’t do what I wanted him to do? I told him that Micah listened to his thoughts and not mine. Crazy right? Well when you think about it people do it everyday. I watched him and I saw the confusion on his face. He was struggling with his thoughts on what to do. This is why some parents need to listen to their children. Some children are not being disrespectful; they have issues with comprehending like we as adults do. I watched my son and I learned something about myself.
I thought trusting in God would be easy, because he’s God. Why not trust in him?  That leads me to ask myself some questions like what do I really think about God and who is he to me? What has he done in my life to make me want to trust him? When I think about how God has been there in my life in many ways, I know that he is qualified to have my whole heart.
Easter was a couple of weeks ago and I had dinner at my house with my family and my in laws. We did an easter egg hunt for the kids. One of my nephews only gathered just a couple of eggs while everyone else had a basket full.  He started crying.  He then went inside the house to take candy off of my centerpiece which had all types of Easter egg goodies on it. Well he took a lollipop and I told him to put it back. He started crying and then I told him that when everyone goes home he could have the lollipop. I wanted my centerpiece to be intact until after the party was over. So my nephew cried and cried and cried. He didn’t believe me the good and sweet and kind aunt that I am, he didn’t believe me. This made me sad.  No matter what I said he just kept crying and crying. I love all of my nieces and nephews. I love my little nephew. He is a great kid.  I wasn’t lying to him, the lollipop really was his. There was nothing that I could do or say to him that would get him to stop crying. He just had to believe that the lollipop was going to be there after everything was over. I tried my best to convince him that it would be there for him but he still cried. My sister (his mom) took him over to the side to talk to him. I just thought to myself, is that how I look to God when God tells me that I have the thing.  Do I cry like that just because it’s not in my view? Wow I have some growing up to do. Here I grow!

It feels good to be here.

Hello beautiful people,

Wow, I’ve been gone for so long it feels good to be here writing on my blog. Since my last post a couple of things happened. Well many things happened in my life but there’s only a few things that I really want to highlight. One in which I am proud to say that I lost my weight. I reached my goal weight in December 2014. I lost it just in time for my trip to the Bahamas! My husband and I had an awesome time even though I was experiencing morning sickness.

During the trip I took a pregnancy test and found out that I was pregnant. My husband and I were very excited. I had a beautiful baby boy on July 23rd 2014. He is sooooo beautiful! Caleb is so strong and he’s a very happy baby. God has blessed me again.

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You know during the time that I was not writing on my blog and now I realize how much I need my blog. I am a stay at home mom of three and sometimes I just want my own thing. My blog is my own thing. I spend so much time taking care of everyone else, that I forget to take care of me sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I love taking care of my family but I have to take care of myself also.
This blog makes me feel so much better because it is a creative outlet for me. I absolutely love writing. Reading and writing makes me happy.
I am still a little kid at heart. Ever since I was a kid when I learned how to write I loved paper and pens and pencils and crayons. Music and books were my escape. Writing allowed me to create my own world. Books and music allowed me to step into another someone else’s.
The kid in me wants to be creative again because I am a creative person whether in writing or dancing, singing or drawing. I just gotta let it out. So, no matter how hard it is to find time to be creative I will find some time because that is the time I choose for me.
Wow, I know this is my calling because I can walk away from these things that make me happy and feel music, writing, dancing, anything artsy calling me back. They have been very good to me and helped me to get through a lot of dark situations. These things were my comfort and instruments that God used to speak to me. I’m never letting go again.😌

Off-Endded

Have you ever woke up in the morning to get ready to do something great but felt crummy inside? (I’m believing that this is all of America so far) Then you meet that very special someone who just enhances those negative emotions even more. Now you think “hey I’m doing something great but I don’t feel great today but this person who is apart of this “Great ” should be great” … and they are not. This is me not getting off of my course and leaving the place where I am supposed to bloom.

I was volunteering at my church in the media department on a Sunday morning. Five minutes before service starts everyone moves into their place.  Some on cameras, some on audio boards, some on lights, some are directing, some are working on graphics and lyrics, and scriptures to show on the screens during praise and worship and during service when the Pastor teaches. Basically, everybody’s working together to get things done. The phone rang and it was one of the directors. She sees what the congregation sees and calls us to tell us what we need to correct or improve on. Well most of the calls were directed towards this certain person, he was very agitated every time I gave him a message (that didn’t really come from me), but he was taking it out on me. Nonetheless, I was not offended by his frustration or his agitation, I was offended by his sarcastic and degrading remarks every time he received a message from me. Okay, you know I didn’t let him get away with those negative remarks right? Of course he didn’t get away with it. Every time he dished it out I gave it back to him. You know this was turning out to be an irritating situation for me because every time, I mean every time I gave him a message we would get into it for no reason. I could have told him that his foot was on fire and he still would have found some way to argue with me.

The last message that I had given to him I thought to myself  “He couldn’t possible get mad at this message”, but you know he did. I gave him a piece of my mind and yes he dished it out but this time I made him eat it. This dude was clearly having an off day. He tried to correct me about things he was wrong about and he quietly surrendered.

I left the church appearing to be strong and intact but inside these negative thoughts were tormenting me. It was like a box had been opened and out came those evil dementors from the Harry Potter movie. I felt bad on top of the bad I was already feeling. Mind you I woke up not feeling all that great anyway. Why did I have to deal with this guy today?  I should’ve felt great about standing up for myself but I couldn’t see pass all the negative thoughts in my mind. Then I thought about it, this guy is not going to get me off, ending the process of where I am supposed to be.

I don’t really blame the guy totally, because just like I believe in God, I believe that the devil exist also. The bible says ” for we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12). That scripture is like a map showing us where to really place our focus …and it’s the devil. And he “don’t” like me, or anything created by God. This is not an “excuse me” card but if you keep fighting against flesh and blood (a person), it’s like fighting fire with fire, it’s not going to go anywhere. For us humans, love covers a multitude of sins. I prayed for him. I stood up for myself, showed him a mirror and I prayed for him.

This guy had to be going through, it was all on him like boo, boo. He definitely needs some cleansing because everyone said the same thing I said about him. They all didn’t really like being around him.  All I can say is hurt people, hurt people…I was told that he was like that all the time. It’s amazing how he can’t smell the odor on him and everyone else can. Or maybe he can. Maybe it works for him like a wall or a weapon to protect himself from people or something. He’s taken on the horrible scent for some reason as if it was a beautiful smelling cologne.

Bottom line your issues can’t be my issues. I’ve taken on other people’s insecurities cradled, cuddled and feed them for so, so long, and now I’m free. I did pray for some of the things that I saw on him and I believe that the great things that I prayed for in his life will come to pass. As for me I’m still volunteering for a great ministry doing what I love and not letting anyone get me off-ended.

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Hubby Love

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I just want to say that I have the best husband in the world! Thank you for helping me to be myself…Daunte. You are the greatest. I’ve never been around anyone with your kind of work ethic since my Dad. You are a hard worker and I appreciate how hard you work to provide for our family.

I love the vision that you have for our family and I love where we are going. You’ve helped me to see myself good and bad. I’m amazed by your beautiful talent, your perseverance and your ability to be patient in pressure situations. I’m so proud of myself for marring you. You are awesome and I say this with tears in my eyes and a grateful heart. I hope these people in this coffee house don’t think Im crazy..lol. Thank you for loving me the way you do, my friend. XOXO

 

Welcome Our Newest Family Member

We have a new puppy and his name is Rocky. He’s adorable! I really wasn’t planning on  being a dog owner so soon but his demeanor won me over. He was so calm and cool. When I held him I just knew that he would be a perfect match for our family.

My son had been asking me for a dog for about a couple of years now, and my hubby also wanted a dog. My biggest concern was that I didn’t want to be the only one cleaning up after the puppy. Having a puppy requires everyone’s help, from the biggest to the smallest.

Well he is here and he was a cool and calm kind of puppy but now he’s bitting my hands when he plays. I do not like that 😦

My husband and I are looking at training videos on youtube about the playing and bitting issue with our puppy. Please feel free to give me and my husband some pointers on how to get our little “smookie smook”  to not bite us while we’re playing with him 🙂

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